A reflection on a rapidly spreading disease
that disease by the name of self loathing. I see it not only among strangers, but among my friends. It saddens me deeply and to say I’ve had enough of it would be a far understatement.
Tumblr: where blog posts stating negative things like “I am unattractive”, “I’m a complete failure and my dreams are a waste of time” and “reblog this if you can’t ever see anyone loving you” are gathering THOUSANDS of notes every day and I can’t help but sit back and ask “why?”.
Just stop for a moment and consider what this is saying about you— what you are doing to yourselves by allowing these kinds of attitudes to fester and grow. And hey, I am no stranger to self loathing. I understand those feelings, I’ve felt them too many times to count and STILL continue to feel them! They WILL bring you down if you let them… <— but look, only if you let them. You have power over this. So much power.
The worst thing you can do is to let those emotions overtake you. In the same way you’re capable of allowing negativity to take over your thoughts, you’re also just as capable of surrounding yourself in POSITIVE thoughts. There’s a positive side to everything, even if it seems hopeless at the time—things will pan out in the end.
No, you are not ugly. No, you are not stupid. No, you aren’t a useless “waste of space” like you so often believe you are. To quote ‘The Iron Giant’, “You are what you choose to be.” You—and only you can decide who you become. If you truly believe you’re the horrible person and you’ll never get anywhere then you will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Please, don’t let that happen.
And at the risk of sounding corny I’m going to say this: Each and every one of us have a special place and purpose on this earth, and there’s something unique in you that’s different than everyone else. Be the best you can be. Believe in yourself. Yes, you’ve all heard it a million times before, I’m sure. But that never lessens its truth. It’s timeless.
You can be so much more, I promise. At times, it’s not going to be the easiest road to walk, no. But trust me, it’s so worth it in the end. Here are a few steps you can take to start off:
1. Stop saying negative things about yourself. You don’t have to praise yourself or pretend to be super confident, just stop bashing yourself. It does so much more harm in the long run than you realize. This includes reblogging negative posts on tumblr.
2. I understand we all need to vent occasionally, and if you need to get something out, instead of letting the steam loose online and in public, find a close friend you can trust, or better yet—your parents or other members of your immediate family! :) These people know you best and so are better equipped to helping you out or just at least listening if you need somebody to be there to do just that. (They also, unlike the internet, are less likely to hurt your feelings or take you for an attention seeker.) And hey! Chances are, they just might have been through it too!
3. Help others. Helping others to be happy will in turn make you happy as well.
“You can close the windows and darken your room, and you can open the windows and let light in. It is a matter of choice. Your mind is your room. Do you darken it or do you fill it with light?” - Remez Sasson
“The power of your thoughts can open any door and you can set yourself free.” – Lucy Macdonald
“Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves. It is not something we see, like a rainbow, or feel, like the heat of a fire. Happiness is something we are.” - John B. Sheerin
“I can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. It’s all how you look at it.” - J. Kenfield Morley
